Hi guys,
Now that you have shared your writings with your classmates and teacher, it is time for you to post your final version of the paragraph. Then, make final comments on other clasmmate's paragraph and then write a reflexion on how you dealed with the parapgraph writing: the difficulties found, what you learned, what was easy, etc.
I hope to see how you have improved!!
Regards,
Teacher Nallely
Going out with your best friend can turn into a disastrous date. I tried once, and it was a really bad decision. I knew he liked me, but I told him that I could just see him as a friend. Anyway, once, I was in a pretty good mood, so I accepted his invitation to eat out. The day came, and I was too worried about my clothes. At the end I thought I looked nice, but when he arrived, he was dressed like he was lying in his house. I took that as a bad signal. I asked where we were going to eat, and he didn’t know! So I had to ask for a taxi for us and decide where to go. Later, when we were about to eat, he ordered food for himself and left me apart, and to top, when I decided what to eat, he let me pay – when previously I had seen a lot of money on his wallet –. I was really upset and disappointed, but I thought the worst part was when he suddenly started to talk about his former girlfriend. Finally, we finished our food and he took me home. It was the last time we went together as in a date; I think it was awfully uncomfortable for both. So, you should never go on a date with your best friend.
ReplyDeleteNelly Madelein Montes Mata.
I see you fixed the word "take" and put "ask" that is good. It is making me unconfortable the expression "eat out" but I think it is ok, I get the point.
DeleteI think everything it's ok and I'm sorry for you Nelly:(
María Fernanda Villasana Espejo.
Thanks for your comment, Fer! Yes, I changed the words and actually the paragraph looks better that way. I know the expression looks weird, but that's the concept, I saw it in our english class, jaja. I know I'm having troubles with my vocabulary since it isn't very extense, but I'll improve, I promise! Anyway, thank you for your corrections! And yeah, that was a terrible date.
DeleteThat's why I'm your partner, to help you. I'll promise to help you to extend your vocabulary and pronunciation.
DeleteHi teacher,this is my narration paragraph.
ReplyDeleteTraveling with your Family to another country can be an amazing experience.
When I was six years old, I traveled to Disney World with my grandparents, uncles and aunts. Me and my family stayed in a wonderful hotel inside Disneyland for two weeks, and we visited all the thamatic parks.
I really enjoyed the vacation because the park was incredible,and all the attractions were wonderful.Also,we went to a night parade,with all the characters of Disney,it was so cute!. Cinderella,Snow White,the Little Mermaid,Buzz Lightyear and many other characters.
I also visited Universal Studios,where I took photos with a lot of characters,such as Popeye,Spiderman,Barney and the Rugrats.
After that amazing trip,we returned home because school was going to start.
Jose Gerardo Martinez Escobedo
When you start mentioning the characters it loses the coherence because you just mention the characters, I think you should have say: ...Many characters - were there at the parade - or something like that, and like that we will know what is your point with the mentioning of the characters.
DeleteI see that you fix that problem with the non-disney characters, that is great, and you also added the word "as" at the beginning of the second character - mention. Keep up the good work.
thank you for your recommendations,Roberto, they helped me to notice that I incluided no Disney Characters, I think I should check my ideas after finishing the paragraph to avoid that things that you mention at the beggining of your commentary.
DeleteYou are welcome Gerardo, is always good to check it twice and read it out loud to notice little mistakes.
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ReplyDeleteThe day I met my boyfriend was an unexpected encounter that change my life. It was the second week at school, I was in Spanish class and the teacher put me in front of the class withr other guy because there wasn't enough room for us. I didn't know his name and he didn't introduce himself, neither did I, so, the whole class was very boring and quiet.
ReplyDeleteThe next weeks, I noticed that he was moving towards me; he was sitting on the other side of the classroom and suddenly, he was behind me. One day, a friend of mine told me that he had feelings for me, however, I wasn't interested at all. I meditate about it plenty of time, after a week, I talked to him and decided to give him an opportunity. I will never regret taking this decision.
María Fernanda Villasana Espejo
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DeleteHi there! I can see that you changed the things I told you to, it looks better now! However, I think you should be careful with the punctuation marks and the way you're writing the event. It seems like something is missing, or you could describe or explain better the paragraph, and... I saw a "withr" in the beginning, pay attention on your writing!
DeleteI think that's all. Good job, Fer!
Nelly Madelein Montes Mata
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DeleteThank you Nelly! Yes, I think something is missing too, don't worry. Like I always say "Demonios Nelly!" thank you, I didn't saw that "withr" jaja. Yes, I'll pay attention next time.
DeleteMaría Fernanda Villasana Espejo
Last week, on Wednesday, I realized that appearances can be deceiving. I had always wanted to talk a boy because he looked very friendly, polite and open-minded; so, that day I started doing interviews for a homework, and I was really happy and excited because I finally had the opportunity to talk him. That boy was talking with a friend while he was smoking a cigarette, a few minutes later he told me he could not help me because he did not want to, during that moment I noticed that he was smug and cruel in real life. I decided to leave him alone without any explanation; just saying: ‘’¡Good!’’. After that, I felt so sad and disappointed: following this, I knew that I was so wrong about him.
ReplyDeleteHi!
DeleteYou did it good, only you should improve punctuation marks, and be careful with the tenses. I like the topic sentence and the way you introduce. Great job! :D
Thank you! I noticed that, as you told me, I was wrong in some parts: with progressive and simple tenses. I tried to change that and I think I did it better. Thank you for your advices. :)
DeleteMy first day at college arrived, and I was feeling really nervous and excited at the same time. I did not know anybody, all of my classmates has just got out of high school and I had not studied for like two year or more; I was twenty-one and most of them around seventeen or eighteen. Being back at school made me feel young again, I was going to meet new people, make new friends and be able to hang out with them, after not doing it for a while.
ReplyDeleteThen the teacher arrived and everybody started introducing themselves, after that, everything went good; I met my best friend that day and she made me feel better about being older than everybody else. My first day at college was not so bad after all and I was glad about it.
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DeleteAndres, First I think your topic sentence is excellent because it introduces to what you are going to talk in your paragraph. Good job!
DeleteReading this new version of your paragraph, I noticed that you changed the end of your first paragraph, where you used a lot "I was going to", that is excellent because it shows that you considered m recommendations
I recommend to you that try not repeating words in your future paragraphs. Good word
Yes i did change that, and i actually try no to repeat words, i do not remember why i did not check my paragraph twice, but will do form now on. Thanks for your recommendations.
DeleteMy first day at the new high school was awesome. Many people think that the first day of school is weird because you don't know anyone, and everything is new for you, but for me it was the opposite.
ReplyDeleteThat day my mom took me to school, I was really happy she could come, so once I entered to the building I went to coordination to ask for the group I was going to be in, then I went to the third floor where my classroom was and got in. I was really nervous to see new faces so I took a deep breath and walked in. The whole classroom looked at me and I just smiled to them and took a sit. Once I calmed down I turned around and realized that and old friend from kinder garden was there. I couldn't believe it so I headed to him and greeted.
Since that moment he became one of my closest friends, and becaue of him I had the opportunity to meet new people. The rest of that day went good, I made new friends and learned new things.
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DeleteHi, Dulce! Your narration paragraph is really good. I liked it. The grammar is good and the paragraph is coherently written. I remember that last week when I checked your paragraph it had only a few mistakes, but now it has no mistakes!
DeleteThank you, I corrected some words and also spelling from my paragraph.
DeleteI always try to improve my paragraphs by checking grammar and punctuation, so i decided to check it again and correct all the sentences that may sound weird.
Thank you so much Brenda, I love you friend!
The day I went to check my result to the Facultad de Fiosofía y Letras was a terrible experience. Last year when I graduated from high school, I wanted to study in “Facultad de Filosfía y Letras”, I was working hard in order to pass the entrance examination and I took a course. The day of the exam I was very nervous but I felt sure of myself and I thought the exam was so easy. One month later I went to check my score, I had a good score and I had passed the exam but my name did not appear in the list. I felt very sad and depressed because I thought I had failed the exam. Three days later the principal of the university called me and said “you were accepted in our school”, Finally I felt very happy.
ReplyDeleteHi Cecy!
DeleteThis is a good paragraph, the narration of the experience have a great sequence of how things were happening. The topic sentence covers all the explanation. I see you already correct the few mistakes you had.
Good job ;)
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DeleteYes Lidice, I've already changed the mistakes that you mentioned last class, Thank you for your recommendations :)
DeleteThe day I decided to change my life.
ReplyDeleteThe day I decided to change my life, I was thirteen years old. I remember that I did something wrong and I felt very embarrassed about it and I was crying. I took this decision in January, 2010. It was at night. My dad told me that what I did was totally wrong; my mom was there but she was listening, she did not said anything to me. My dad told me that because of my sin I could not be near to God because God is Saint, and I needed a Saviour and that Saviour was Christ. I was invited to believe in Christ, in what he has done and to confess my sins. I prayed to God and asked Him to forgive me for all those wrong things I did and that I wanted Him to be my Saviour. God forgave me.
Since that moment, I have been learning from Him by reading the Bible and I can say that He is everything for me; no one ever will love me as He does. God shows me His love and grace every day and I feel secure in His hands. He started to change my attitude and to show me His ways.
In this moment I am eighteen years old and they have been five years since I took this decision. Jesus is still changing my life and showing me how to live for His glory. Months ago I thanked my dad for helping me to take this decision. Now I can state that this decision was the best decision of my life because I decided to follow Jesus.
I liked your story so much, Brenda! :)
DeleteIt's great that you fixed the mistakes.
I'd like to know what was "the wrong thing" you did.
Topic: An exciting minute or two of a football game
ReplyDeleteMy best moment in a football game was in the University. The game was at night in at the stadium "Gaspar Mass", we played against the physics-math college. Before that, I was nervous because we had to win in order to maintain the team in the third league.
In the middle of the game, we were in a tie 1-1, but a player of the other team went straight to our goal; I was the goalkeeper. When he shot the ball, I thought that I couldn't stop it because the shot was powerful, but I was able to stop it! After that, I passed it to a player of my team and he ran until the other goal, he passed it to a player and he returned it to the same player, then he shot and scored a goal. Finally, the game was over and I was happy because I had saved the team when I stopped the last shot.
Enrique, I liked your story, I'm glad that you checked the suggestions I gave you of changing the accommodation of some ideas and some words like prepositions. In general I can see you are a nice writer, keep going!
DeleteMelina Garza Meléndez
Thank you, your comment will help me have more imagination when organize my ideas. Also, It will help me to be more consistent.
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ReplyDeleteAwesome job
ReplyDeleteI work at a ballroom that is near my house, the job was recommended by a friend who also works there. My first day of work was on August 30th, 2015 and it was a nice experience I want to share.
As soon as I arrived there, I met my partners who are nice and outgoing, I changed my clothes into my uniform and I started my assignments. In the beginning, I had to decorate the ballroom with beautiful balloons, a gigantic table of candies and a big cake. Then I learned how to make tamales, after that I delivered them through the and finally, I cleaned the entire ballroom, that was the hardest task, but with help, we finished just in time. My first day of job was tiring but it was a great experience.
By: Melina Garza Meléndez
Melina, you just have to use commas in some parts of the paragraph to understand better what you want to express. By the way, all the paragraph is excellent.
DeleteYou are right, I will check the commas because sometimes I forget to use them. Thank you so much for your comment Enrique!
DeleteA disastrous date
ReplyDeleteSix months ago I had a date with a boy that I met on facebook and it was a big disaster. We had been talking since two months before we had the date. Everything was perfect and cute by the internet, I thought that he was a gentleman, but all of these suppositions were a mistake. The day that we had our first date everything was disastrous. At first he invited me to his soccer game in the morning, until then everything was going normal, the bad things started when the game finished. He lied to me, he said that someone would stop by for us, and nobody showed up so we needed to get a cab, but that was a big trouble because none of the taxi drivers stopped, so we walked and he started to ignore me for being on his cellphone, I got mad and told him to stop whatever he was doing. We kept looking for an available taxi, and lost so much time on the street doing that, and for the situation getting worse it started to rain. Finally I decided to get at home walking, that date was really disastrous.
Hi Jenni:')
DeleteIt's a good paragraph, just remember to change the verbs in the times that are.
Hello natalia, thanks and I already changed the tense of the verbs in this paragraph! I had some problems with the first paragraph but finally in this I corrected all my mistakes.
Delete- Surviving a hurricane or a tornado
ReplyDeleteI could never imagine surviving a hurricane, when I was at school in Florida (West Palm Beach). All people were scared and we started to cover the windows with wood tables, I did not know what was happening but I was just helping.
When I arrived home, the first thing I did, was turning on the TV to see the news, in that moment I realized a hurricane was reaching us (Lake Worth County). My family and I were preparing ourselves, because the night of October 25, 2005 the hurricane would hit us. We hid at a closet, I was just praying for that moment to pass, there was no light for about 15 days, and it was a whole disaster.
Hurricane Wilma was a category 5 hurricane; it was the second-most destructive hurricane of the 2005 season. It was totally a terrifying experience...
Hello Lidice, your paragraph is great, your topic sentence is better than the last class, I remember I told you, you had some mistakes but now your corrected them.
DeleteHey Cecy!
DeleteThank you for letting me know the few mistakes I had ;).
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ReplyDeleteEight months ago I broke up with my ex boyfriend and left me very disappointment.
ReplyDeleteAt the beginning of the relationship everything was wonderful, but after it was pain, suffering and lie.
The day that year on st Valentines Day, we went the cinema, to have dinner and to a bar, to celebrate the day of love. The next day he passed by my home to take me with his family, he had his own business and that day while I was there, he went to pay his workers, it took him a long time, even though I called he didn't answer his cell, and the last call was his cell was off.
Minutes later, my cell phone rang with the tone of a text message; it had pictures of him and other girl.
I broke up with him. I in such a pain and so much disappointment he left my heart.
Hi Natalia! I read your final paragraph and its okay, it matches with the topic sentence but you need to change some words and sentences that I think it would be confusing to the reader. In other hand, I saw that you did a better paragraph than the first one.
DeleteYes Jenni , I'll change what you say and will take it into account. Thank you very much for the recommendations!
Delete-I longed for a brother but God decided it was not time
ReplyDeleteDuring five years I was an only child and my life was perfect but one day I told to my mom that I wanted a brother –yes a brother, not a sister. I hate girls- then, my parents told me that my mom was pregnant and I was excited because I could have a brother soon. But God’s plans were not these. When my mom was five months pregnant the doctor told us that would be twins…the best announcement ever! Therefore, my father had to work more and he decided go to USA to work. During this process my mom had a difficulty with her pregnancy and she was hospitalized. Days after, the twins were born but were not two, there only one and the one child had health’s problems, his lungs were not developed and three days after being born he stopped breathing. My family and I longed to grow our family –I think that it was our problem- we focus a lot on the arrival of a new baby that we forget completely about God’s commands, and as the Bible says: “See, I am against you, you arrogant one, declares the Lord, the Lord Almighty, for your day has come, the time for you to be punished.” And the day of our punishment came, he took my brother to heaven. I’ll never understand why but one day God will give us the answer…I’m sure.
Hi Lea.
DeleteThe history is interesting but sad, I am sorry for you.:( In the other hand, I think this is a good paragraph, the narration have a great sequence of the things, and your topic sentence is really good too. Excellent!
Hi, Laura! It was so difficult for me when I wrote this history but is good to share it with you. Thank you for your comment.
Deletedisastrous non-date.
ReplyDeleteLast weekend I had the most disastrous date I've ever had. A boy that I liked a lot invited me to a party in his house, so I went there with my best friendd, who was also invited. I was very excited and I thought we were dating because of some stuff we had talked about, but when we arrived there, he was hugging and kissing a girl in front of me, so it wasn't a date. I was very confused because he never mentioned having a girlfriend and he had been messaging me a lot and asking me out for some weeks, and now he was with another girl.
I felt so disappointed, so I decided to leave and not to answer his loving messages anymoore, so I would never had a disastrous non-date again.
Great job on the paragraph, your topic sentence really summarised what happened and you explained why it was disastrous.
DeleteYou used the punctuation marks correctly and corrected some spelling mistakes you had.
The adjectives helped a lot in the narration to show how you felt, I hope you never have a disastrous date again.
Thanks for your comment Sylvana, I tried to describe the experience that I had by using adjectives and I corrected the punctuation mistakes that you'd already marked me.
DeletePlease, for the next party don't let me go with him :p
I will keep that last part in mind
DeleteMy last Vacations.
ReplyDeleteMy last vacations with my family in Austin, Texas were so excited. My dad was able to take some time off, so we went to visit my cousins. I was so happy because we had not planned since the last summer we had not gone on vacations. So, that day we woke up early and drove to the airport. We landed on Austin, picked up a taxi and went to my cousins' house. We arrived and my family and I were so excited to see them. We did a lots of fun things; we went shopping –that I Iove it obviously- , to the aquarium, to the zoo, some fast food restaurants, and I went to a party of my cousin and another things like walking. I really enjoyed these vacations with my family; it was great spending time with them.
Hi Laura, I hope you are having a good day. Well, what a nice vacation! It seems that you enjoyed so much the time you spent with your family. I think your paragraph looks better and have a good organization since the last time I checked it; you corrected some sentences and the possition of some commas. Your narration paragraph only needs to have more details about the activities you did in that vacation like where did you go, what did you do there, how were the places you visited etc. Anyway, I hope that other experience like this would happen to you again. See you! :)
DeleteYes, I changed some sentences and checked the punctuation, thanks for your comment and recommendations! :)
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ReplyDeleteA frigthening experience.
ReplyDeleteA year ago, I had one of the most frightening experiences I have ever had. My grandma had an accident that affected her memory and vision. Sometimes she says funny things but other times she remembers the past very vividly. One night, when we were all together in the living room, she was strangely quiet until I asked her what was wrong. 'Nothing', she said, ' I am just wondering why your grandpa is standing there instead of sitting with us'. I laughed nervously because my grandpa used to do that when he was alive. He passed away three years ago and hearing my grandma say that he was there was frightening.
Hello Syl, you wrote an awesome paragraph, and it has a clear and effective topic sentence, it includes good grammar, and the punctuation marks makes it easy to read. I would have had panic too if I were you. hope this never happens again.
DeleteThank you for your comment, I appreciate your help. It was scary, I tried to use the punctuation marks we have learned in class.
DeleteMy first day in college.
ReplyDeleteMy first day in college was a weird experience. I was late, so my mom gave me a ride. When I was on the camps I felt so nervous because I did not know where my classroom was. When I finally found the classroom I felt surprised and terrified because most of my classmates were older than me, also they were smarter than me because everybody was giving their opinions about the subject in class and I did not know anything about what the teacher was saying. At the end of the night I was so tired and with headache because I had to read a whole chapter in cass, but I was excied for my first semester in college because I had made it.
- Ariana G. Hernández Castro
Hi Ariana!
DeleteYour paragraph is good, it is so well organized, that is great; also is too summarized and simple; and you go directly to the point. Your topic sentence is a easy way of know of what you will talk about. You have to use some commas, but, that is all.
thank you! I will use commas in my next paragraph, also I have corrected the errors about the contractions.
Delete"First day at new job"
ReplyDeleteMy first job in a daycare was a disaster. I used to think that working in a daycare could be a perfect experience; maybe, working in a daycare would be an easier task, but no really; well, at least not for me.
The first day, I woke up at 7:00 o´ clock and prepared all my things. Then, I walked to the daycare. When I was in front the door, I felt so nervous, but I was decided to enter. When I entered, all babies were crying, but fortunately, it was not my group.
But my group the 3-4 year old children they were in the other room, so I arrived to my room, it was worst that the babies-crying; in my group, I observed that every child was running and screaming. I believed, that they just wanted to sleep, because it was the 7:30 am; but they enjoyed running in the morning, so early, literally.
Later, there was so difficult to do that they could take breakfast, well, in summary, everything was a struggle, like, trying to make them not to fight for the toys, or to be quiet. I used to love the moment that they slept, but when they woke up, everything started again.
Hi Laura! You have a good structure, but you need explain more, you have some mistakes and in the paragraph, I think that you don't specific very well your topic sentence, and you should put your complete topic "first day at new job". Your paragraph is good but you just should to have a little care with your writing.
DeleteThanks, I will bear that in mind. I had some problems with my topic sentence, I will practice more that.
DeleteI had never thought that going out to a party could end in a dangerous experience. My sister invited me to a party with her friends, we bought beer, but we arrived to the party almost everybody were drunk. After an hour we got bored, so we decided to go to another party but they were pretty drunk, I told them that we should wait and they did not listen so I went with them because I was worried about her. Diego was driving too fast, Celina and I were scared, and then Diego saw an oxxo and he stopped the car, he and his friend assaulted it. Celina and I were shocked when we saw it. They came back and Diego started driving again after ten minutes a mysterious car started chasing us, that car was faster than us. Suddenly, it closed the way out and we crashed with a wall, after a few minutes I checked if Celina was okay, I took her away from there and I called an ambulance and a taxi, I knew it was not fine to leave them there but they did not have injuries, I did not want to get in trouble, so we went home.
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job Gretel! Your paragraph is well done, I think you wrote a nice story, your grammar is fine, all the punctuation marks are correctly, and you followed an order of ideas in your paragraph.
DeleteWell done! XOXO
Hi Dulce! thanks! the fisrt time i wrote this paragraph was so hard for me, i made a lot of mistakes.
DeleteMy first day at new school.
ReplyDeleteMy first day a new elementary school was a great experience. I remember that I felt nervous and at the same time a bit sad because I did not know anybody. I had arrived very early in the morning when I walked slowly toward my classroom I saw many strange new faces; I thought that I could not fit in but I was wrong because my classmates welcomed me. The teacher was very friendly and I had forgotten my nerves when she introduced me with my new classmates I sat in the first bench with some girls I asked their names and we became friends. During recess I played with other children so I was very happy I had done friends in a short time, it was exciting. At the end of the day, I was waiting for the next day to arrive at school.
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DeleteI know the first day is hard and I’m glad you had a good experience in your first day at school and made friends really fast. About your paragraph; I thing you made a really good job , your topic sentence is efficient and your ideas are clear and well organized , the only problem you had, when I first saw your paragraph, were the punctuation marks, but you already correct them.
DeleteHi Daisy
DeleteYes, the first time that I wrote my paragraph I made some mistakes with the punctuation, but when I checked your recommendations,I write the punctuation in the correct way, so thank you Daisy for your comment and recommendations. :)
When I met the love of my life, my life changed. He is my best friend’s friend, his name is Adrian. The first time I saw him, I knew that I will marry him. He has all the qualities that I was praying for. The day I knew him, we were at Hugo’s house (my bestfriend), but Adrian was talking to other friends. He was too funny. After that, I went to my house, and when I arrived I watched my cell phone, there was an inbox from Adrian. He asked me to apologize him, because he did not say good-bye. That day we did not sleep because we were messaging all night. A week later we had a date, it was a very special day. I realized he is the one I was looking for; he changed a lot of perspectives in my mind, he changed my life. I just want to be a better person, not for him, but because of him. It is the love that is described on 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a.
ReplyDeleteHi!
DeleteFirst of all, you already corrected the tenses and the accent marks, like I suggested you, that is a good one; nevertheless, I remember your last paragraph and I am still thinking that you should not separate the ideas with periods, instead of it try using connectors. On the other hand, you've corrected your ideas coherence and you did it well, just practice more with punctuation marks.
In resume, you did a good job, keep it up! :)
Thank you! I'm having problems to organize my ideas. I will be more careful with that, and I also have to practicelebrate punctuation marks.
DeleteAn experience that altered your view of someone
ReplyDeleteMy view about my great grandmother changed when my aunt Carolina died. The funeral was in Durango where all my mother´s family lived. My aunt Carolina died because of cancer. My great grandmother hated her and she always talked behind her back, so we did not expected that my great grandmother would cry at the funeral. At the beginning of the funeral when nobody had arrived yet, my great grandmother was only watching the body of my aunt Carolina with indifference, she had not cried until all the neighbors and friends arrived and gave her the condolences, she started to cry and shout: “Why does God always take all the good people? Why?” or “Oh Carolina, I will miss you so much.” I was so confused because my great grandmother always said horrible things about my aunt Carolina and now when the funeral started and all the neighbors and friends were watching, she acted like if Carolina was someone else she loved a lot. I used to see my great grandmother as someone who did not care about what other people say, but when I saw her crying for someone who she really hated, I realized that my great grandmother was hypocrite and I would never like to be like that kind of person.
I checked your paragraph and I think that you wrote all in an organized way. Your ideas are very clear and your orthography is really good - I did not found any mistake in it - You made me feel like If I was there and I saw for myself, that is to say, your narration is excellent. In other hand, the viewpoint about your grandmother is justified. I do not know what I would do if I were you, I hate the two-faced people. I always think that If you live by the opinion of the people, is like not living your own life.
DeleteGood job, Tania :)
Hey Lea, thanks for your comment! Yeah, I felt so confused that time, but things like that happens. I put all my feelings in that paragraph, it is nice that you felt like if you were there. Sorry for writing too much! (:
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ReplyDeleteMy first day at my new job
ReplyDeleteEverybody can get nervous in their 1st day at a new job but it was my first job so I was more than nervous. My schedule was from 8:00 am to 2:00 pm, I arrived at 7:30 am, the longest half hour that I had ever had in my life. I will never forget my first two calls, the first one was a prank, and the second one was a costumer who was really angry because he lost his cell phone and nobody could help him to find it, since that moment I thought it was going to be the most terrorific day of my life and at my job, but it was not, someone helped me to solve the costumer´s problem and I continued with my day, after that, the day got excellent, I did not fail with any call. That day I got the highest grade of my group, so after all everything went well.
Hola julio
Deleteyou story is good.
you have an excellent structure, your ideas are clear and your spelling is good, excellent your paragraph, my point of opinion, your paragraph and your story is very good .
Viviana Jimenez
Thanks a lot Viviana your point of view is important for me
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ReplyDeleteMy plan of going to the United States is one of the most exciting things I would love to do.
ReplyDeleteI am in love with the United States of America. I love Americans, American culture, American traditions, everything. Therefore, I would love taking a trip all over the country.
If I had the chance, I would go to the most famous cities, the places where many movies are recorded and where many pictures are taken. Also, I would go to the places where there are not a lot of people and where there are not mountains, and I would take many pictures of every place I visit. I would get a car and drive because I would see the roads too. In this trip, I would visit all my friends that live in different states, and I would invite them to travel with me.
I know that visiting every state in the country can take a long time but I love that part of my plan! This is a trip I would love to take and I will take it. I just need to save a lot of money.
P.S. I did not change "American culture" becuase it would change the meaning I want. :)
Hi Jehieli! i like your paragraph, its good. but I guess your topic sentence is too long and too spoecific. in the second line you mentioned "American" many times, is no necessary. also in third line "traveling" is not necessary, you already said you wanted to take a trip.
Delete"An encountred that changed my life"
ReplyDeleteSome time ago when I was in the secondary school I had an encontred that changed my life.
My day started with a cold and bored day, I woke up in the morning, and I went to the school, and I had the same routine as usual. After a long time, finally, I finished my school time and when I was walking by the street, I saw an old friend of mine. I felt very happy because I had many time of not seeing her. She and I hugged and we talked for a long time.
After that day, we were in contact through our cell phones and we continue to seeing despite the distance. Until today our friendship is still standing, and all we want is that we can stay friends for a long time.
I felt very cheerful able see it again, she changed my tiring and boring day for a very happy and exciting day.
Hi Areli, I like your topic sentence, its good. Also your ideas are well-constructed, but you got a little error in "I was walking by the street", the correct way is: "I was walking on the street".
DeleteThank you for your recommendations, I will be more careful to argue my ideas :)
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ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteMy summer vacations in 2005 was the first time I experience a hurricane and was one of the most scaring experiences I have ever had. Everything happen when I went to visit my uncles in Veracruz. One day, in the afternoon the rain and the wind were really bad that we had to put tape on the windows, as a security measure, to avoid injures in case of a broken window. The movement of the trees scared me, the way that the wind move them made me think that one could fall over the house.
ReplyDeleteThat night we all went to sleep, when early in the morning my aunt wake us up because we were getting flood so we had to get out the house. When we left; the water level was around 1 meter, I was worried because I did not know what could be in the water or if could hurt us, fortunately anybody got hurt.
Hi Daisy!!
DeleteYour topic sentence was really good, the way that you describe the story is great you said everything in your paragraph, but I think it is not necessary write "When early in the morning" just write "Early in the morning my aunt ...." but in general you story surprised me it was really good. Great Job Daisy :)
Hi Karina
DeleteThank you for your recommendations, I tried to correct some mistakes that I had, but next time I’ll try to check everything carefully at least twice.
An experience that showed how appearances can be deceiving.
ReplyDeleteThere is always a bad feeling when a person that you thought as a good person reveal his truly self. I learned that lesson some time ago, when i entered to the high school and i met a guy. In that moment he looked like a prankster, he laughed a lot and for that reason i started to hang out with him.At the beggining he was a funny person, doing good jokes and always talking, The time passed and we became very good friends, we share good moments, like parties, meals, playing video games, etc. Eventually, he began to reveal his true personality doing bad things, like hit other friends, talk lies bout other persons, the kind of stuff that everyones hates. I can not believed his actions, but in the moment when he tried to hit a friend of mine, I stopped him and I started to reclaim him about his behavior. He just walked away and after that my friends and I have never talked with him anymore. That day I learned how appearances can be deceiving.
My first day in my work in Relaciones Culturales was really nervous but excited that place. That day I was afraid, because it was the first time that I would be working in a reception, treating with people, like teens and adults too, and I was afraid do all things wrong, when I was in my training course, they didn't teach, only the basics how I have to treat the people, like give the general information about the English programs, the prices and sessions that we have in the institute. Being on inscriptions department I could practice, but al the beginning it was very hard, because I didn't know how to work with the internal system (computer).With the little practice that I had; now I can do almost everything, and little by little I lost the fear too, Well,this is the end of my first day.
ReplyDeleteViviana Jimenez
Hi vviana, your story is really good, my only advice is that when you are writing you have to think in english and not in spanish, it sound rare when you write as if you were speaking in spanish, nevertheless is well done 👌
DeleteThank you very much Julio, to tell me that i need to think more in english that spanish, I'm goin´ to think about it
DeleteTraffic accidents are too dangerous for all the people. When I was five years old, I was going with my parents; two uncles and a cousin to veracruz by car. When we were through the highway the trip was boring and without of noise so I fall sleep. When I woke up another driver was driving the opposite way and in the same highway so we crash. My uncles, my cousin, my father, and me were fine except my mother. She died some days later.
ReplyDeleteOn December eleven, four years ago, was one of the most exciting days of my life; it was because of the final match of the soccer Mexican championship. The team were Tigres and Santos. I remember thet I was so excited because Tigres was about to become the champion after twenty-nine years since the team reached the last cup. It was going to be the first time I would see my favourite team as a champion. That day people was so excited that transmited a lot of feelings to me, I felt happy, nervous, anxious, desperate,etc.
ReplyDeleteWhen the match had started people were encouraging the palyers to be the winners. When the other team scored the first goal people got worried, but in the second part of the match Tigres scored their first goal and people got excited again and believing that Tigres could win, some munites later the second Tigres' goal was scored and people got really happy because it was an advantage over the other team, four minutes before the match was finished, Tigres scored the third and the last goal of the match and people were crying because of the happiness of knowing Tigres was finally the champion, when the referee anded the match people began to shout out of happiness, and finally I could see Tigres become the champion.
P.D. Just a liltle bit long I think.
Reading a paper book or an eBook might seem the same thing but it is not. First of all, a paper book can be expensive; on the other hand, an eBook has a low cost. However, there is not an eBook for every paper book due to copyright or related issues. Paper books can be found in any bookstore, but buying eBooks is faster and better in a way because you do not have to get out of your house. Although there is something to consider: if you are reading an eBook on your cell phone you might develop sight problems with time, on the contrary, paper books can be easily read. When it comes to bring a book with you, you can carry your eBook with no problems, unlike paper books which can be heavy or occupy a bit of space. Each option has their pros and cons, but it is a personal choice.
ReplyDeleteEsther Lourdes Castillo Gonzalez